My Real Raw Story
Trigger Warning: this contains violence and F bombs
I grew up in a conservative, extremely patriarchal third world country. And when I say patriarchal, I mean, I've actually been through physical fights, I don't like the word “abuse”, I just got into fights and lost, do you see the difference? Anyways, they happened because I had opinions and chose a different way of living.
It was never, “we disagree, but you do you,” except from my mom. It was "we will correct you, even if it costs your life,” especially from the men's side of the family. I almost died once in my early 20s and was threatened another time 2 months after I turned 30. Every day life over there.
Needless to say, verbal humiliation, yelling, "putting you in your place", privacy invasion, and more were how people raised their kids, but I’m a capricorn, even as a tiny child, I’ve always had that “fuck this shit” energy. I remember I told my narcissistic parent once that just because something was the norm, it didn’t make it right. You can imagine his reaction if you know anything about narcissists.
I have to point out that narcissism was also the norm where I grew up, even the LAW can’t do anything to it.. Those incidents were “family matters” to the police.
Also, needless to say, growing up with a narcissist sets you up for relationships with their likes, whether romantic, friendships, etc.. I packed my shit and left so many times, and I changed my life even more times.
So, long story short, for safety reasons, I travel the world from the east to the west. One day, I’ll buy a home and sit my ass down.
Throughout these life lessons, I realized that I taught myself about psychology by observing those around me, trying to make sense of what they did, and maybe eventually mold into their norm. I did understand their logic, but I realized that just because I understood it, it didn’t mean that I agreed with it. I learned empathy. In an attempt to make my life better and protect myself from harmful people, I learned a lot about narcissism and psychology in general.
And do you know what I found out? Narcissists have 0% self-esteem and 100% abandonment issues. That doesn’t mean that anybody with low self-esteem & abandonment issues is a narcissist. But self-esteem is what saved me, I said, “I’d rather starve in freedom.”
Look, I know that this is an intense blog to read but here’s what I wanna tell you, and also brag about, a lot of people who’ve met me while traveling could never tell and don’t know that I have that background… because I carry a big ass self-esteem and bigger smile on my face.
When you go through that type of shit, everything else seems easy. What’s the worst-case scenario? Starting over? For the 5th or 6th time? I lost count, been there, done that!
I know how I got myself there, if you’re ready for your “fuck that shit” energy, book a call with me.
My qualifications:
Hypnotherapist - NLP practitioner - Life Coach - Contentment Coach - Buddhist meditation Student
My approach:
Practicality, compassion, and of course, fuck that shit.
Some therapists will tell you that you need to look at the past to understand, others will tell you, fuck the past, look at the future.. I say, fuck both! What do we have now? What can we do about it? Take a breather, and then we can take what we need from the past to use in the present so we build a good future, never look back, and most importantly, enjoy the present. It all depends on where you are NOW!
Phew! This has been intense, eh! Listen to one of my favorite songs for recovery here